Helloooooooooo Marrakech!!!!! Crazy Crazy Crazy Town. Step outside your Riad and get run over by 10 Motorbikes, a Donkey, and 20 homeless Cats... in the Riad however... Paradise!
This was probably the most relaxing holiday I have ever been on. Wake up in the morning, have Tea & Coffee and tiny biscuits in the room before heading up to the roof terrace for a 5 course breakfast, then laze around chasing sunbeams like a cat till 2pm and then maybe wander down to the Souks to look at cheap junk, not buy anything, head back to the roof terrace for afternoon Orange Juice and Popcorn, have a nap, head downstairs to the courtyard for 4pm Macaroon Hour, go to the room for a pre-dinner shower, eat a 3 course meal in the restaurant, then head back to the room for a nice luxurious rose petal bath before getting into the king size bed for a solid nights sleep.
Repeat x 5
We did break up the routine of each day with a variety of extra curricular activities.
The unnecessary breast massage.
the Riad we stayed in had an amazing spa so we decided to book massages. Mark is always the guinea pig for these things so he went first. When I saw Mark afterwards before heading into my own massage he gave me the heads up that it was "good.. but weird" ... I would have to wait until after my own bizarre massage to find out just how weird his was compared to mine. I'm no stranger to massage, so I am pretty down with the acceptable clothing rules and protocol.
Enter Massage Area > Masseuse shows you where to lie down > Massesue hands you a towel and exits the room whilst you change out of your clothes and position yourself with your dignity intact.
In Marrakech they are more of the "get naked in front of me and get awkwardly onto the bed" well I assume that's what she wanted, what with the language barrier and all. I mimed my best way through the whole "remember i'm pregnant so no belly rubbing for me please" which was clearly translated in her mind to "rub the hell out of my boobs for 45 minutes"
Now i'm not saying that I don't appreciate having all parts of the body worked on during the massage, but they really go in for every area when they are in the zone. I think they would have preferred it if I had taken all my clothes off including my underpants. If I hadn't waxed my bikini line before going on the trip it would have been really awkward when she was practically massaging my labia through my knickers.
Anyway - I was very relaxed afterwards, maybe even a little aroused what with all the nipple rubbing. I went upstairs to to see what Mark had meant by his "good but weird" comment and it turns out the masseuse had also worked his nether regions - getting her hands right in his underpants and loosening a testicle so that it was hanging out of it's underpant region and sticking to his leg with the massage oil. Good Thing we didn't go in for the Hammams, they probably get naked with you and scrub you down inside and and out.
Other than the weird massage whenever we went out walking on the streets the market sellers were quick to point out my belly, and then get us to look at their wares, and then not give us a discount.
We honestly spent most of our days on the roof getting sun and hanging by the pool.
One of us would be lookout for the breasty-testy masseuse so we could hide our faces when she walked past.
Marrakech for the win.
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